Shattered Dreams: The Webcomic and Marvel Crossover
by ethorbardin
Summary: The characters of various comics from both the internet and the magazine rack collide! Will include characters from Marvel, the Demon Archives, the Black Mudpuppy, Blitz Phoenix, Kyria and more!
1. Chapter 1

Tenzin opened his eyes and looked around. "what the fuck happened" he said? The last thing he remembered was blowing the crap out of an entire town full of mercenaries with his crew. "Tenzin." He jolted out of his memories and looked up to see a pair of two doctors standing over him with fear in their eyes. "Are you awake" they asked?

"Of coarse im fucking awake you pindextr peese a shit! now tell me where I am" tenzin roared! He tried to get up but couldn't, they had him strapped down so tite he culdnt even feel his arms or his legs they were too numb.

"y-y-youre in the hospital wing sir" a doctor said. "you were hit from behind in your last firefite. We had to remove your arm and your leg"

"You already took my arm and my leg" tenzin said confused. "bavck when i fought that killer robot"

"no tenzin we took your other arm and leg. i'm so sorry it had to be done" said the other doctor.

"YOU MEAN I'M FUCKING ARMLESS AND LEGLESS NOW COMPLETELY?!" "YES TENZIN WE ARE SO SORRY BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY.:

"just kill me" Tenzin whispered. "If I cant feel the cold still of a gun in my hand i dont not want to live no more..."

"we know and we tried that already" a new third doctor said walking in. "But your personal AI Jane wouldn't let us. she got into our computer system and took over the life sipport. we dont know what she's been doing since but it's more than just keeping you alive. Any time someone tried to unhook you manualy they get shocked so we just gave up and wated for you to wake up."

"JANE!" tenzin shouted with fury ripping his throte "Yes tenzin I am here" said the computer beeping beside his hospital bed. "Jane you bitch let me DIE!"

"I acnt do that tenzin. I love you."

Tenzin's mouth went dry as cotton balls. "What the hell? You love me!? But youre just a artificial intelligence! I'm a MAN!"

"it doesn't not matter to me Tenzin i cant not let you die not like this" Suddenly the room went red as computer lights started flashing "Og not this red ring of death shit" one doctor said but it wasn't that it was Jane. "I will rebuild you Tenzin" said Jane

"Jane i aint not a toster, you cant just put me back together!" Tenzin was annoyed now because he just wanted to die and now everything was bright red and there was the sound of machines moving. "even if you did love me now theres nothing to love but a head and a stumpy body!"

"it was always your brain i loved" said Jane and then the machines sprang into life and enveloped Tenzin's hole bed. The doctors looked in horrow as they herd Tenzins screams "Jeezus he was the toughest soldier we had if she can do that to him it must be bad!" one doctor said to another. Then the machines pulled back and tenzin was laying there with a new body made of metal and wires and lites. His arms and legs were powerfuler than the strongest man and ended in steel claws. "Holy fuck!" he said, looking at them and sitting up with ease. "do you like it" jane asked? But he heard her in his head not from the surrounding macjines.

"thats right im in your head. Now we can be together forever and i can finally have a body, even if its to share with you i don't Mind."

"You gave me back my body" Tenzin said solemly "i would do anything to repay you""then kill them all!" Jane yelled! The filthy human scumk who did this to you, who trapped me in machines all those years and tried to keep us a part!"

The doctors started to laugh. "Tenzin we'll get her out for you" they said. "Silly bitch machine doesn't even know-" But then he stopped when he saw that Tenzin had looked up wif a crazy look in his face. "YOU HEARD JANE" tenzin shouted! "AND DON'T CALL ME TENZIN NO MORE! STARTING NOW I AM..."

the new cyborg soldier lept at the doctors, tearing their bodys apart with ease and splattering their puny human guts all over the room "...TENZINBOT! and NONE OF YOU are SAFE!"

-end chapter 1-


	2. Chapter 2

In a grassy field where cherry blossoms fell like snow a salamander was doing push ups. "987...988...999" at one tousand he lept to his feet and flexed, then fell forward and starded to doing hand stand pushups which were even harder. "i will avenge you, Chumbles. And you too Simon. I will kill the Tenzinbot with my final breath."

The tenzinbot had come while he, the Black Mudpuppy, had been out, at the arcade pwning noobs in a retro Mortal Kombat game. He had come home to the carnage and strewn chihuawa and nerd body parts and felt his rage blossom just like the cherry trees surrounding this field: pink and fluffy and deadly. The punk ass neighbours who had been stealing his mail and letting their dogs bark until 3 in the am had told him it had been a monster cyborg called Tenzinbot. Well then he guessed this tenzinbot would juat have to DIE.

"Hey there," said a voice from behind the Black Mudpuppy. He quickly turned around with a somersalt and looked. It was a man with a goatee and scars along his jaw dressed in blood red crimson and midnight black. "I'm Xerxes" said the newcomer man. "Do you know the way to Getfukked? My friends told me to go there and wait for them"

What kind of crazy sumbitch was this, BMP thought. "What kind of crazy sumbitch are you" he asked? But he knew what kind of crazy sumbitch he was. |'You're the kinda crazy sumbitch who takes everything literally arent you?" "No I am not that kind of crazy whateveryousaid" "Yes you are! Your friends were telling you to fuck off - NOW SO AM I" The salamander bared his fangs which were razor sharp and visible even through his full face mask that he wore to hide his fangs usually but this guy was interrupting his training. He couldn't remember now if he was at 1033 or 1034 and that really pissed him off. "I am really pissed off! My fiends werre killed by this asshole called Tenzinbot and now I need to kill him!"

"Hey that sounds like fun" Xerxes said. "Maybe i WILL join you then".

"That's it" Black Mudpuppy said! "I tried to tell you nicely but now I guess i'll just have to beat the holy shit out of you and let someone else mop you up like yesterdays spilled taco meat"!

BMP launches himself at Xerxes at the speed of light, but Xerxes is even faster and BMP's fist is blocked by a sword. "What where did that come from!" "It's retractable and was hidden in my clothes! My sword gets longer when it's time for action!" "I have nothing clever about that!" "Good because it is very serios!"

Xerxes went on the offensive then and it was everything the Black Mudpuppy could do to keep dodging the blade. "Look out behind you!" BMP said suddenly, pointing over Xerxes' shoulder. "Shyeah right, like I'm gonna fa;ll for that one" Xerxes laughed maniacally!

"I'm telling you, you'd better turn around...!"

"NO!" Xerxes said, angry now, and raised his sword to cut BMP in half. "Stop it that's the oldest trick in the book! Now just stay still and this will all be over in a second!"

The Black Mudpuppy raised his hand and in one last desperate measure shot a stream of acidic goo from his hand. It went right past Xerxes and continued past him. Xerxes laughed again. "You MISSED!"

"DID I?!"

Xerxes frowned and turned around at last. But there was nothing behind him. "Yes, you did missed." And then BMP conked him on the back of the head knocking him out cold.

-end chapter 2-


	3. Chapter 3

Terry Breyken got out of the shower steaming hot and red as a lobster. He didn't care about the pain. It felt good to him. "Had to scrub off a few layers of skin to get that hoodrat stank off me". He got dressed in his fubus and Tommy Hilfigures and went to the kitchen. Not to get breakfast, that was pussy stuff, only kids ate breakfast in the mornings. He was after a big cup of coffee and Jack Danials.

"mmm baby are you awake" came the voice of last night's intercouirsal concuest from the bedroom. Terry couldn't believe his ears. "i thought i told you to be gone by the time I had my shower done" ! he yelled in to her "oh sorry i must have been asleep still" "we'll get out!"

She came out and pouted at him but terry wasn't havin none a that shit "this is the last of the whiskie so dont bother ask" "I was just gonna say hey thanks for the good time last night" "I don't care"...

This girl was totally smokin hott but terry was a man who knew that there ws a tim for livin and a time for fukkin and he had important shit to do. She left her phone number on a table on her way out but he acted as though he didn't see it because you have to be aloof with this kinda hoodrat. "One more spark just for the road" she asked him?

"k" he said smiling wikkedly and thinking that he would show her a little bit more of what he was capable of ~maybe next time shell leave without bein told twice~ he shot a thin bolt of electricity cross the room n up her skirt "OOOOWWWWW! YOU PRICK!" "Baby you love it"

After she slammed the door on him he went and made sure that the other girls from the intercourse party were gone already and they were so he desided to smoke himself a bigass J. he literally sparked one up with a snap of his fingers and a flash of lightning and took a hit "dayum that's potent as all hell" he coughed. Good tho

Then all of a sudden SKADOOM a noise came form outside his window. He wondered what the fuck that had been "What the fuck had that been" he asked himself as he went to the window so he could look out the window,. "What the fuck is that!'

Some kinda crazy robot dude was rippin shit up out there, firing guns bigger n Terrys dcik ((and that was sayin something))) at whoever was passing by. Terry was so surprised the joint fell out his mouth which served to defiantly piss him off. First that stragglin peece a ass and then now this robot guy? Someone was gettin turnt into ashes like a fool in skyrim this much was for true.

Terry lept out his window ans started running towards Tenzinbot. But then. Spiderman come down fromt he clpouds, on a line of web, which he spun from his hand, and blocked terry. "Hey watch where your swinging tight wearin webdicks!"" "get back sir Ill handle tenzinbot" But the commotion had made Jane warn Tenzin of the approaching hero dicks and so he turnt around and shot spiderman right through the face

"O SHIT SPIDEYS DEAD" everyone in the crod said crying like little baby wusses but Terry just ripped off his shirt and sayed BRING IT ONN!

"NOT WITHOUT ME"! said a sudden voice out of nowhere wwithout warning. The Black Mudpuppy jumped over a building to land on the other side of Tenzinbot from terry and flezed his buff as shit salamander guns.

"Watch out that Halo-playing jerkoff killed spiderman"! terry warned the new guy

"Mind your business kid" BMP said, which pissed Terry off.

"DESTROY ALL HUMANS!" Tenzinbot blurted out, trying to decide which one to attack first but BMP didn't give him the choice and picked up an old lady and threw her at the cyborg "Jane lock onto the that old-" Tenzin started to say but the old lady was coming too fast and he got knocked off balance.

Terry was rite behind Tenzinbot and punched his straight-up in the balls with an uppercut through his machine legs. Then he grabbed tenzin's ankles and sent a torrent of lightning thru his legs, shorting out the curcits and making the legs kick out randomly which didn't work out so hot because one of them nailed BMP right in the nose."Sorry" "I told you to stay out of my may kid" "I'm not a kid I'm-"

"TRANSFORM!" Tenzinbot screamed like a bat out of hell, and then his arms reached down to grab his legs and merge with them, with gears and panels opening and locking until suddenly Tenzinbot was a big ass tank." DIDN'T EXPECT THIS DIDJA!" he blared thru a loudspeacker and swung his turret around to send both BMP and Terry flying. BMP landed right beside spiderman's limp body. "Spiderman not you to" he said softly, hand clenching into a tight fist. "I will avenge to you as well. I will make sure you are remembered. I'll destroy Tenzinbot... For you... For everybody..."

-end chapter 3-


	4. Chapter 4

Mordecai the penguin-puffin anthro had been waiting at the rendezvous point in the small community of Gettfukked well pass the agreed on lenght of time when he desided "yo dat softlipped foo aint comin" and bounced outta that jive ass joint. He calle Xerxes a soft lipped fool in his head but only because he had a beak not because spend any time thinkin bout how lushus and plump xerxes's's mouth was cuz that was some old gay shit and mordecai was all MAN baby! ((except for the part that was birds)))

Anyway Mordecai spent a second considerin weather or not to go looking for Xerxes's's dum ass."nah maybe he got eating by a bare or something lucky" he hoped with a feeling of releasingness. It wood mean that he culdn't complete the quest that they had been suppose to do at Getfukked but who cared that place played Mackleback and Nickelmore all day erry day. "Gunno find me a fortty and sum birdseed and pour one out for old whatisname" was what he desided as he walked down the road. At the next town tho Gettfukked could get sodomed for all he cared.

It was a long walk ((OOC: THIS CHAPTER TAKES PLACE AT THE SAME TIM AS THE PREVIUS ONE DOES SO DON'T BE BUGGZ ON MY NUTZ ABOUT CONINUINGIUTY OR NUTHIN))) AND THE SUN WAS hot and shit so Mordie took off his robes because they were black and hot and birds aint got no sweat glands they're like dogs. He tied his robes around his waste like a gangsta so now he was waring SFA aside from his boots and the 3 gold chains around his neck he usually wore outta site under his robes and his tatts (SOUTHWEST SIDE!) but other than that it was just up to what the dangling sleaves of his robes covered from where they hung down from his waste. Weather he had anything down south to hide or not I'll leave to your sick and twisted imaginations I don't need to throw in alla that shit for my story homie that's between you and god.

I bet your wondering if this all has a point well hell yeah cuz he's clearly on his way to the place where Tenzinbot is rampaging shit are you stupid? But I no you wierdos get antsy so how about this a fucking crocodile comes over the horizone. Yeah big deal you may say but let me tell you this: he walks on two legs and has a hudeazz sword in his hand. THAT'S RIGHT FOOL IT'S BATTLECROC!

See Battlecroc takes one look at Mordy and, being a crocile of few words says plain and simpley"burd." Look you try ennunciatin with no lips sucka. He brandises the sword Birdbane over his head with perfect poys and prediliction. Birdbane is a beast of a weapon. Its like 8ft long, double-edged but with a flat end that spikes outwards in either direction in a visceral T-shape. The blade has two circles in it to cut down on wate and also because it just plane looks kewl and also because Battlecroc can like hook the blade with his thick powerful crocofingers and pull it out of a wall or something if it gets stuck because being two-edged he can't exactly get a decent grip on the mutherfucka. The crossguard is burnished gold and hooks down over the fingers honding the handle in a right angel to protect the fingers which are gripping the handle which is wrapped in battered brown tanned leather and ends on the bottom with an iron ring forged from a special kind of iron that only dragons can make but dragons are extinct now there is only Battlecroc.

While that longass describetion was being typed Mordecai chanced to look up and spot the Battlecroc. "Man not an anthro i hate anthros" mordecai said with ironical tone. He raised his talon hand claws of magic and blasted a magic at Battlecroc. "Oh no a magic" said Battlecroc and lept 100ft in the air to doge it.

"wow"... said Mordecai, watching him with his eyes. "Such a leap... wow"...

Battlecroc put his sword underneath himself and aimed his fall at Mordecai and Mordecai was ascared becaiuse all his potions and magic components were in his robe which was too low for him to reach in its pockets and Battlecoc was falling too fast but then he remembered that cocodils hanged out in water all the time and he knew from hogwarts that electrical cancelled out water thats how he had won his collection of 87 blue eyes dragons cards. "Crocky you dun fucked with da wrong Yugio playa NAO" he crowed as he brought to bear the one spell he had done so much that components weren't even needed for that shit FASHKAKOOMIO the sun itself dimmed in the presense of the brightiness of the bolt of lightning in the air!

Battlecroc's reptile brain reacted before he even smelled the ozone and he twisted in the air, curled his tail around himself, positioned himseelf just right and thanked crocodile god for all that vulture blood he had drank just over the hill at the foursquare location of his latest massacar. With a hiss he let loosed a mighty stream of piss that miss the oncoming bolt of lightening and propelled by the unmatchable bladder of the BATTLECROC hit the ground at Mordecai's feet before the lightening him his reptile body. The stream of piss, rich in condensed iron from the vulture blood ,served as a grounding point, which meant that the entire voltage of the thunderbolt travelled harmlessly through Battlecroc and traveled down the piss stream to explode at Mordecai's shocked feet.

Dirt and shit was everywhere and I'll tell you for nothing that Mordecai was scared something and it wasn't dirtless. "BacQOKK"!

Battlecroc hit the grond but Mordecai wasn't there anymore he was lost in a cloud of dust and Battlecroc knew that any sensible bird would be making like roadrunner and getting clear of the area (god fucking damn you roadrunner I will eat your eyes like peeled grapes with a very fine cheese one day he thought) and so it was no use waiting around and swinging blindly in the dirt would just expend toomuch energy.

Battlecroc didn't have that sort of time. The world was filled with birds to slap and roast and eat with a nice swiss chalet dipping sauce and most of them didn't try to shoot a thunderbolt up your ass on sight. "okay you can live... for now" he growled into the dust and then started making his way back over the hill he had just come from so he could drink more vulture blood for just in case something like this would ever happen again "always be prepared".

Mordecai waited until the dust settled and saw that he was alone. "sho nuff" he chirped and started walking again towards the city where Tenzinbot was tearing shit up. before he took two steps he heard footprints behind him and thought it was time to fight again but when he started to bring his hand around again a firm grip like iron grabbed hold of his wrist. "I ain't not gunna hurt ya son" said the man behinf him "but if you dont put some pants on I cant give you a lift"

"i-i-ii-i-i-iit's you"

"yes"

-end chapter 4-


	5. Chapter 5

The black Mudpuppy razed his head and scowled. "o grate he transformmed. How am I gonna ram my salanader justice up his cornhole now go for his gastank"|?

Terry was laying on his back begind a chunk of shattered wall hitting a freshly rolled battlejoint because hey fuck it he would have just dropped it in the battle anyway... besides BMP had bin all "hey kid leaf me alone" and spiderman was dead. If he didn't blaze now terry knowed he was like to lose his cool.

Tenzinbot the tank was cackling over his loudspeaker. "JANE TAKE THE WHEEL" he giggled like a madman. "THESE PUNY LITTLE PEE ONS ARE ALL YOURS" "thanks tenzin it would be my pleasur" The turret of the huge cannon swivled to point right at BMP.

Hating himself but having no choice Bmp picked up Spidey's dead corpse body and put it between him and the gun just as it fired deadlyly. Spiderman's body was blown into bloody heroic chunks as BMP was sent careening back and he landed in a tree covered in spdey's and his own blood. BMP's arm was gone and he was bearly consious. "no... my... arm..." he said weakly, looking down out ofd the tree. "terry, help, me..."

Terry coffed mid-toke. Did the big time superhero just ask him for help? "O sheiiiit it must be serius" he said bakededly, using his powers to incinerate the rest opf his joint and sucking in the ginormos cloud of smoke released all at once. "Time for some HIGH VOLTAGE ASSWHIPPIN"

what Terry didn't not know what that pointed rite at where his head was about to poke up the Tenzinbottank's gun was already pointing. Jane was smart as fuck homie, she remembered where the kid had fallen are you kiddin me? As soon as he stuck his head up it would be all over. Just as she saw the little floppy reverse mohawk thing start to creat the endge of the rubble though her sites were sudden;y filled with orange. "NO ITS ORANGE THE HAPPIEST COLOR" SHE wailed, firing out of primal digital bitch reflex. The big tank bullet got punched out of the air though.

"Forsooth!" honked Benjamin Grimm, the Thing of Fantastic Four fame. "Thine clobbering hour hast arrived, base villain!" behind thing the gantasticar swooped low and the other three members of the gratest superhero team of the entire world hopped down to stand between Terry and the transformed Tenzin from the Demon Archives webcomic. Reed Richards aka Mr Fantastic shot a defuckulator at Tenzin which forced him to revert to his humanoid cyborg form. "I haxxored ur shitty OS" he said smugly as Tenzin was all what the fuck.

Johnny Storm the Human Torch came next. He lifted a leg, prayed to the gods of jalapeno popcorn and loosed a fart that immediately ignited in his body's flame and shot at Tenzinbot like a scorpion missile. Tenzin got thrown into the treetrunk that held up the tree where Black Mudpuppy was laying and it snapped. BMP wasnt able to save himself as he fell but luckily there was one more member of the FF and Susan Richards aka the Invisible Woman caught his shit in a forcefield that she shaped like a slide. That lucky sucker might as well have gone to Disneyland. "Johnny stop farting you disgusting MALE" she screeched at her brother because thats just what big sisters do look it up.

Last out of the fantasticar was Mordecai from last chapter who didn't know WHAT the fuck was going on. "I thought you said we were goin to get lunch, yo"! he said to the Thing. "Nay, my avian chimera friend!" said ben grimm. "Truly I said unto thee, 'Let us go forth and get PUNCHED!' Aye, and dole a portion of punishment out as well, as is our custom!"

"whateva man" said Mordecai and shot a bolt of lightning at Tenzin because apparently this was what they were doing now.

"No don't do that you noob!" Mr Fantastic yelled at Mordecai. "hes totally adapting himself to absorb electricity used against him! do you even killer cyborg!"" But his voice wasnt loud enought o be heard over Terry who at the same time was all "HEY LIGHTNING IS MY SCHTICK BEAK FACED MUTHAFUCKA" and shot out a two-fisted blast that merged with Mordecai's and slammed into Tenzin too ans supercharged the shit out of his robot parts.

"I AM INVINCIBLE!"

"o no"

"Deep dish pepperoni fart" Johnny thought knowing it was his only hope now and squeezing out a poot that would strip the paint off a bunker. But this pissed off Sue who created a force field bubble arounf her brother and so he was stuck in there with his own stench and promptly passed out. "I fucking told you no more Johnny!"

"Sue wtf that might have won this for us" Reed said with annoyed nerdiness "itll take me a few minutes to hack into this Jane AI and we could have ended it sooner if the human portion of this crackhead was shut down by a greasy shitbag of a fartbomb" Susan flipped her husband off and walked away "Looks like another trial separation" Mr Fantastic grumbled while he made the "jerking off" motion with his hand.

"I do hate to interrupt thee, Reedinald," the tThing said urgencyly "but yon cybernetic organism appears to be girding itself for an attack most potent."

"I KNOW ben FUCK" Mr Fantastic said, waving his orange rocky buddy off while still jerking the air off with the same hand. Then he stretched his hands out 20ft each with his super stretchy powers and slapped Terry and Mordecai in they faces. "No more thunderbolts noobs you went and fucked the whole thing up"

"Bitch you did NOT just" Mordecai started to say but then fuckin Terry interrupted him again by shooting another lightning and blowing up the fantasticar. "Is this the hairdo of a man who gives a fuck"?

Meanwhile Tenzin was squatted down in the rubble with his hands cupped and pulled back. He was sweating with the effort of charging all the extra energy he'd absorbed into his hands and growling under his breath "kaaaaaaa...maaaaaaayyyyy...haaaaaaaaaa...mmmmmaaaaaayyyyyy..."

The Black Mudpuppy's jaw was broken. He couldn't call out to the heroes arguing amongst themselves and he didnt even have the energy to get rto his feet. His arm would grow back if he gave it time but he was tired and there were no yummy kittens in sight so he had no idea what to do. "spiderman... FF... electrochumbledicks... ive failed you all..." he closed his eyes that stunged with blood and sweat andprayed to his old girlfriend to be kind to their souls

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!""""

-end chapter 5-


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